My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
