I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Randomize
