We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize