I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
