Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
