Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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