He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
