I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
it was like eating out sand paper
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Randomize
