i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
