her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
