Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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