Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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