You work out of a Hotel?
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
