I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Boobs are out for the taking
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Randomize
