Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
