My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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