she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i dont even know how to be here
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
