Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Randomize
