but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
last night I used snow as a chaser
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