We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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