Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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