Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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