sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
How external is "for external use only"?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Randomize
