I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
