bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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