She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
