Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Randomize
