That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
