I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Randomize
