Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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