wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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