i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
