Where did you get a picture of my penis
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
