smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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