I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
