All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
