dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
