He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize