and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
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