You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
