I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
