i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
