and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
