Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Randomize
