omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
