week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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