Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I will pee on everything he values.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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