Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize