He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
