areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
