Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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