Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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