with your own penis?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
