so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
