its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
