Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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