Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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