..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
