I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
