one two three fourrrrnication!
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
