gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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