i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Randomize