I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
