Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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