I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
